Find Out What Kind of Happy You Are
Happiness? What is it really?
I’m thinking about it right now and how difficult some perceive it to be. Maybe it is because we put too much pressure on it? Maybe we associate it with the wrong things?
There are numerous books written about it suggesting what it means, how to get it, how to maintain it, where it comes from etc… There are many ways to find it that work differently for everyone. Sometimes it is seen as a positive and sometimes as a negative as in “why is she so happy?” I don’t want to apologize for being happy. I just want to be as happy as I am able to be.
A little story: One time, I was serving a couple at the restaurant I worked at. It was 6:30 in the morning and they were the first customers. I walked up to the table, smiled, and said “Good Morning! How are you today?” Sounds like a good start right? Well, the response from the man was “Wow, aren’t you chipper.” as he looked over at his wife almost rolling his eyes. I mean… Can someone explain what I did? Now let me just say that I was respectful that it was morning time and I wasn’t screaming and jumping up and down. In general, you have to read peoples energy and say hello accordingly, I get that. Should I have said “Hi, what do you want to drink?” while chewing gum and leaning into one hip and feeding into his vibe? I was happy and I didn’t apologize for that. You gotta draw the line somewhere.
Greek philosophers always nail it:
“Happiness depends on ourselves,” said Aristotle. He believed it was essentially the central purpose needed to live.
Different Levels of Happiness
- Fake Happiness – when you are trying to hide the fact that something is bothering you and you use the idea of happiness to cover it up in hopes that you will fake yourself into becoming happy without putting in any of the work to get there.
- Ego Happiness – when your ego takes control of your happiness and shows you that what others see and think of you is where true happiness lies.
- Contribution Happiness – when you go beyond yourself to do actual good in the world but what you give and share with others is the ultimate meter to happiness (forgetting that you count too!)
- Internal Happiness – the power to ground yourself, accept true pleasures, use Will to fight for what you want, and love your true self and learn to love others and accept love in return in order to keep that power roaring inside of you.
Internal Happiness gets you to a place where you can use Contribution Happiness in the correct way, realize that Ego Happiness isn’t real, and understand that Fake Happiness is a cover-up for bigger issues that need attention.
Where can you start?
- Google “list of virtues,” pick all the ones that feel natural to you, narrow those down to 5, and then live by them. Write them down, stick them to your bathroom mirror, whatever works for you to see them. BOOM! See how easily you can get started?
- Write down at least one thing you do every day that aligns with each of those 5 virtues, then acknowledge your progress by looking in the mirror and smiling.
What else can you do?
- Read books about the Ego. Understand its motive. Be conscious of it.
- Exercise. I prefer and suggest yoga, but anything that keeps you moving, brings oxygen to your brain, and gives you time for self-discovery will do.
- Read about the chakras.
- Meditate. Forget the idea that it’s too hard because your mind is too active. (This is totally why you should!)
- Take time for self-care.
- Choose to spend your time with people that inspire you to be a better you and accept you with love.
- Learn how to not be a victim.
- Take control of your life. There is only one you.