I can’t stress it enough. Be positive, but for the love of the universe, don’t hide from what is really happening.

We hear it SO often: Stay Positive. You feel sad? Stay positive. You broke your foot? Stay positive.  You lost your job and can’t pay your mortgage? Stay positive. LISTEN: If you are going to tell me to stay positive, can you maybe notify me of why or how? Just give me something. Right?

Here are my “whys” to staying positive:

• There is always an exchange happening. Something is taken from you while concurrently something is given to you. It’s hard to see that in the moment.
• There is a message behind it. Did you break your foot? Maybe you need to slow down. Did you lose your job? Maybe you hated it for too long and now it’s time to step up.
• If you don’t, you will be blind to everything else. If you broke your foot and can’t stop thinking about all the things you can’t do for 6 weeks, then you are blind to life.  Rather, start thinking about all the things you CAN do such as sleep without feeling guilty, read, catch up on documentaries, write, start the online business you always wanted to, have time to actually call and talk to loved ones or even better, have them come over… the list goes on. Either open your eyes or stay blind.
• It brings clarity to the mind. When you feel negative, can you seriously make sense of anything? No, because you stay focused on how bad you feel, how angry you are, and why this happened to you consequently suppressing your normal state of consciousness. As a result, you live life unconsciously.
• It keeps you healthy.  If you are miserable and negative your cortisol levels are just drip, drip, dripping away inside your body and slowly killing you. Look it up.

Next up: Don’t hide from reality

• Acknowledge what you feel. It’s ok and necessary to heal. Sit with it and see how it affects others, your physical body, your mind, appetite, and your consciousness. Here is a little breakdown:
  • Notice quickly how someone’s body language and expression changes as a result of sensing your emotions.  Good or bad, it is important to see this.
  • Measure your breathing, your pulse, anxiety, lethargy, etc.. this is taking a big time tole on your health.
  • Observe if your mind is foggy; if your decision-making abilities have slowed down; if you lost your creativity…
  • Note if you have lost your appetite or are craving sugar or want to eat an entire human.
  • Consider the consciousness of life around you. Listen to the birds chirping outside and the wind blowing through branches of trees. Feel the sun against your skin and cool water making its way down your throat and nourishing your body. This is life.
• If you hide, you may lose the chance to learn from it. If you get fired from your job and you don’t think about it while simply staying positive because you know you can find a new job, then you won’t be able to reflect on what has just happened.  Furthermore, you will lose the chance to learn from it, hence, repeating the same behavior again at some point in time. You know what I mean? Even if you believe you didn’t do something to get fired, you still could find one little tiny thing you could have done differently. Even one.
• Cry, go ahead. It releases endorphins and emotional and physical stress, it activates the parasympathetic nervous system which helps you rest and digest, and it detoxifies your body.

In conclusion:

The most noteworthy point here is this: Don’t hide. It is relevant to acknowledge the pain, BUT, do this fairly quickly, thus getting yourself back on track to being positive and staying positive.

See it, hear it, feel it, release it and move on!