Is Your Spiritual Practice Deepening Love, Humility, and Compassion?
Spirituality nowadays is linked to meditating for hours, being a Reiki master, knowing about past lives, and going on endless retreats to “find yourself.” And, to be honest, it’s a shame. Being spiritual is getting lost in the mix of social posts. It can turn into a Halloween costume so someone can prove that they are oh so spiritual. Being spiritual is internal. It’s not a flashy car. Our spiritual practices exist for us to deepen our love, compassion, and humility toward ourselves and others.
How We Got Here
When I was younger, I only had to prove to my older brothers that I could keep up with them, and that anything boys can do, girls can do too—and even better! (I had a shirt that said that.) Maybe I had to prove to a teacher or a coach that I could work hard. Or prove to my parents that I could spend money wisely—deciding between powdered sugar cigarettes and chocolate, or just chocolate and saving the change for later. Fast forward to today, and that drive to prove ourselves hasn’t disappeared; it just moved online. Now, the entire world is watching. It seems we have to prove to everyone, known or unknown, that we are worthy, knowledgeable, creative, talented, funny, educated, and spiritual. It’s unsustainable.
Social media can’t be blamed for everything, because it has brought people together from all over the globe. It has allowed immobile people and communities to have access to important information. But, unfortunately, with the yin comes the yang. Suddenly, people felt the need to show off what they had, how they looked, and how they lived. And NOW? People in the spiritual world are claiming that you can attend their five-day retreat and walk away enlightened. So much so that you can change your name and become a new person altogether. Come on!
What Spirituality Really Is
Ram Dass often emphasized that it’s less about rituals or labels and more about showing up fully, being present, and serving others while noticing the divine within yourself and everyone around you.
Spirituality is deeply rooted in LOVE. Our humanness gives us so many deep wounds to heal. Can we approach them with love? Spirituality is a lifelong journey. It can begin when you are a child, an adult in mid-life, or at the end of life. Being spiritual is listening deeply. It is accepting what is beyond your control. It is extending compassion to everyone—friends, strangers, even those who harm others. Everyone is divine.
Mahatma Gandhi’s approach to compassion during times of violence—even war—came from his philosophy of ahimsa (non-violence) and his belief that all human beings are connected through the same divine essence. He separated the person from the wrong action. Appealing to their conscience versus trying to prove anyone wrong was how Gandhi lived.
We aren’t here to prove anything. We are here to participate in our internal experience from a way of love, compassion, and humility.
Why Understanding Spirituality Matters
When spirituality becomes a competition, it stops being spiritual at all. It becomes a game show, like the old one where you have 20 minutes to spend €1000 at the store. In today’s life, the contestant would rush to buy yoga clothes, incense, and essential oils. A new yoga mat, the best camera, and all the books. Mala beads, a retreat in Bali, and all-natural skincare. A life-long supply of chia seeds, a Vitamix blender, and an eco-friendly car.
And what good is all that if you are still enraged at someone’s different beliefs, snap at the barista who made a mistake, or undercut a colleague to get ahead—when they have helped you—only to find it gets you nowhere?
Even a pinch of inadequacy, sparked by someone else’s curated—or real—image, can affect us deeply. How does it feel? What happens inside us because of that false sense of reality? You can go down one of two paths: destruction and ego, or discovery of the true Self. Let me tell you, the first one is NOT the spiritual path.
There can be some real consequences when confusing performance with practice. When spirituality becomes a stage performance, it often breeds comparison instead of compassion. People start wondering if they’re “doing it right.” They worry because they don’t have the matching beads, the right incense, or the perfect meditation space for Instagram. The quiet work of facing your own flaws, making amends, and practicing forgiveness gets overshadowed by the pressure to look enlightened! In that shift, the ego—the very thing many spiritual paths ask us to soften—ends up growing louder than the soul. And then BOOM—you stop hearing yourself.
Spirituality for Everyone
Spirituality is available to everyone, free, and perhaps the best medicine we have. It lives in the Now—not in the When, Then, or Later. An authentic practice is yours to choose, rooted in your own truth. Here are some ways you might begin—or gently deepen—your spiritual practice:
- Savor your morning drink—sit on the couch or outside, noticing its taste, your breath, and your surroundings.
- Watch your breath for five minutes. Don’t change it—just observe it moving naturally.
- Observe nature in your garden or a park: flowers, plants, insects, and animals carrying on their quiet, timeless dance. Reflect, then share your thoughts with someone.
- Feel your emotions fully and curiously, without blame—just observe yourself in the mirror.
- Give deep, loving hugs for a day, and reflect on how it feels to connect so fully with others. Practice small acts of kindness—hold the door, smile at a stranger (I love this one!), or let someone with fewer items go in front of you at the checkout line. Notice how these little gestures affect your day and others.
Spirituality isn’t about proving anything. It’s about showing up, noticing, and practicing love in each moment. Sweet and simple.